Monday, December 3, 2012

Yap Yap Yap: Can't Come Up With a Title

1. It's 4:00am and the only light in the room is the TV, which is only on so I can pump. I glanced down at Sully's bassinet (yes, he's still kicking it in our room because he's not sleeping through the night), and he's awake. He's not making any noise, but he's doing these little dance moves and smiling so big! I want to go scoop him up but I also want him to go back to sleep. Sigh. *I just sneezed and he got scared and yelped, poor dude.

2. Speaking of pumping, which I think I me mentioned up there, I am so very over it. I know it's the best for him but I can't wait to be done. My goal was 4 months (January 24th) since that's what I did for Spencer but 3 months is looking more and more enticing. I have a nice frozen supply so maybe I'll start weaning off the pump when I go back to work. Decisions.

3. And speaking of Spencer, he has physical and speech therapy in a few hours. Per usual, I've got my tentacles crossed for a good report. He's made so much progress that I can't imagine they'd have anything negative to say.

4. Taking my last Intensified Algebra quiz today. My final exam is next week and again, my tentacles are crossed but this time, it's so I get an A in the class. I want it so badly. I worked hard. Spring semester, I'm registered for 3 online classes: Intermediate Algebra, A&P 1 (took it years ago, brushing up), and Intro to Inorganic Chem. I have to carry a heavy load to get into Kent's nursing program for fall. I'd be lying if I wasn't a little stressed.

5. A major source of above mentioned stress has to do with work and when I will no longer be employed and receiving a steady paycheck. We knew all along that I wouldn't be working once the nursing program began because I'm going to be in the accelerated BSN program (12 months). It's like a full time job. But during summer semester, I'm taking 3 classes (2 on campus) with labs in less weeks! So it's looking like I'll stop working at the end of May. That's not a lot of time to save money.

So I'm stressing. But if I kept working, going to school/homework, and being mom, school would suffer. And then what's the point? I want to do this RIGHT. And let me point out that I KNOW people go to school AND work but this program is hardcore. I won't half-ass it and I won't half-ass being a parent. I want to be in school when my boys are little and don't remember. It'll be hard. Belts will be tight. But we can do it. And in the end, I'll have a career and I'll be proud of it. And if myself!'s stressful and I don't handle stress as well as you'd think I would by now.

6. I'm so excited about Christmas! It's a holiday I used to not be so hip on but I love it now that I'm a mom. I like all the stuff we have planned and that this year, we get X-Mas Eve to ourselves to do whatever we want (and we want a turkey dinner and holiday movies). The whole holiday she-bang kicks off next weekend with our traditional Cookie Day. Good times.

7. Yesterday was Phoebe and Ryan's 3rd wedding anniversary. I officiated the event. I just want to congratulate them. Marriage is hard any way and they had a shit storm to get through (namely CANCER, which I despise and hurts people I love). It only made them stronger. Happy Anniversary, kids. And may the next year just be easy breezy for you. Tropical umbrella drinks and sunny days, you know?

8. I bought a copy of Hunger Games, the book. I love reading and haven't done much recently outside of US Magazine. The Hunger Games series will be an easy start as I work my way up to those 1,000 page Game Of Thrones books. I need to do some preparation so my eyeballs don't bleed. Gross.

9. Talking about Hunger Games reminds me that I need to see Breaking Dawn 2 again. So flipping GOOD.

10. Spencer has to have blood work every week for the foreseeable future. We go to the cancer center this week for the big work up, around the corner from our house for a quick blood draw next, and back and forth. Basically, since the blasts are still there but the rest of his blood stuff has been stable, they're waiting for everything to resolve or Leukemia to develop. It's terrifying and exhausting. But we've got to do what we've got to do. No corners will be cut when it comes to my sons. Period. Those blasts should be scared of me and take a hike if they know what's best...

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