Sunday, November 4, 2012

An Update: Volume One

One of Spencer's doctors from the Oncology clinic called Friday night to discuss that lengthier test they were running on his blood sample. I wasn't sure what it was looking for exactly but the doc told me it did confirm that there ARE blasts in the sample. She said the blasts are 2%, which is low. But they're there. It wasn't the fluke I was hoping for.

What we don't know is WHY they are there, not yet anyway. She said that in rare occasions the blasts just disappear. But she had to look that up in some literature which makes me think its not something they see often in the clinic. If that's not the case, we're looking at Leukemia. I could seriously just throw up.

For the next few weeks (unless we see something definitive sooner or immediately), I'll be back in the clinic taking Spencer for blood draws. We have to establish a patter of decreasing or increasing numbers in order to decide if the bone marrow biopsy is necessary. They don't want to do that until they are sure it's the best course of action. It involves sedation and has its own set of risks. On one hand, I HATE that. On the other, it would tell us if he has Leukemia flat out. Part of me just wants to KNOW so we can move forward, even if it means a biopsy.

Sometimes I feel totally fine, like nothing is going on. It's just another day and the baby is playing in his gym and I'm taking video of Spencer dancing like a nut to funny 80s songs. Then there are moments where I'm just sobbing, like in my car on the way home from Target, listening to "You'd Better Be Home Soon" by Crowded House. I'm sure the post-pregnancy hormones aren't helping any. If you'd look at Spencer, he looks FINE! He's his nutty self, per usual. But I know those disgusting cells are in there.

Tomorrow is our first visit, of sorts, to the clinic. They wanted us to come in Wednesday in order to give enough time for something to change in our favor or not...just something that will officially tell us what's what. But I think they knew I couldn't wait. I KNOW those stupid blasts are in there and to me, it's like he's being poisoned. We just need to get on this. I'll keep everyone posted through this. I know there are a lot of people on Team Spencer.

And if anyone cares, the Leukemia ribbon is orange.

"Don't listen to a word I say. The screams all sound the same. But though the truth may vary, this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore" - Of Monsters and Men

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