An Update: Volume Two

Yesterday, as once again I'm blogging after midnight, we went to the Hematology/Oncology clinic to start getting to the bottom of Spencer's abnormal cells. They managed to draw his blood on the first shot and my little trooper didn't even cry. It was sent off to the lab and we talked about a few things to get our heads in the right place. Most important topics:

1. The bone marrow biopsy isn't as invasive as with adults. He'd be sedated for the procedure and most kids are up and running around (or their normal selves as Spencer isn't that mobile yet) right after. They've never prescribed anything for pain, just Tylenol, as the kids don't complain or pain, just soreness. Still a nightmare, but a less gory one for mommy.

2. The treatment, should he have Leukemia, is chemotherapy and would be in-patient. That's all I know. No point in discussing it until we have to.

3. Kids under 4 and kids who have had the pre-Leukemic condition he did tend to be more successful at fighting the Leukemia. Their success rate for a cure with treatment is extremely high.

Another important thing we learned is that his blood work this week is very similar to last week's. And all the bonus tests they threw in...kidney and liver function, plus a bunch of other stuff I can't recall...were normal. The problem is that the blasts are still there, and while nothing had gotten worse, it hasn't gotten better.

This means a bone marrow biopsy on Monday.

This is the scariest thing I've ever gone through. I thought finding out about Spencer's developmental issues was bad (and it WAS) but now we're talking about an invasive procedure that will tell me if my 15 month old has Acute Leukemia. We're talking about cancer. The developmental issues were/are heart breaking but they weren't potentially fatal! I remember in the NICU over a year ago, Todd said he just didn't want him to be sick.

IIIIIIIIIII feel sick.

And I feel horrible for both my boys. Spencer because he has to go through things he doesn't understand that some adults can't even handle. Things I've never gone through and can't take away for him. And Sully because this is HIS time. This time is supposed to be about bonding with him and learning about him and showering him in attention. Now his brother might be sick and the rest of my maternity leave might be really focused on Spencer. It's not fair to him. None of this is fair to anyone. I'll do my best to make sure he remains the center of his Baptism on Tuesday. That's HIS moment. People can ask me about Spencer another day.

So Friday I have to take Spencer for another blood draw but at least that's local. Friday is a busy day. There's the blood draw in the morning and his next Pediatrician appointment in the afternoon. Sandwiched in there, I have my 6 week check-up at the OB/GYN. I'm STILL spotting and STILL in pain, don't feel like I really bounced back, so we'll see. I'm going to talk to my doc about Xanax to help me get through this garbage with Spencer. That'll make me feel like Mom-Of-The-Year, but I need to be able to keep my shit together for my family. And my family has been awesome, giving up time and rearranging schedules. Everyone rallies when it's important.

More updates as things progress.

I'm going to age a predicted 25 years through this.

Feel free to leave Patrone, funny flavored vodkas, and baked goods on my doorstep! See? I still have my sense if humor (I'm only partially kidding).