Friday was a jam-packed day and somehow, I still feel like I'm recovering, simple as the tasks may have been. I have a feeling I'm going to feel like I'm "recovering" for quite awhile. I'm trying to dial my emotions back a little. Have to keep my shit together for my family. There's no time to crumble right now.
After both boys were diapered, fed, and dressed, I dropped Sully at my mom's ( thank Buddha for her) and took Spencer for some pre-biopsy blood work. This was an activity that is making Monday and our reality all too real. They got it on the first try and a courier rushed it to the hospital for results. My doctor had already called once to see if we had been there. This made me nervous like...is something going on? Is he in worse shape than they're saying? Why do they want his numbers so badly??
Later while I was at my 6-week OB/GYN appointment, the doc called and said Spencer's labs look stable so we can go ahead with the biopsy Monday at 3:00 as scheduled. Lucky us. From the time he wakes up until after his procedure, he can only have clear liquids. That's a lonnnnnnng time without solids or milk. Poor guy. But it's scheduled. Soon we will know and can move on with whatever will happen next. Had to do some planning already for something we aren't even 100% sure of. Not fun. Painful. Robotic.
I had a little breakdown putting him to bed. This sucks.
Anyway, my appointment was good, typical. I'm a few pounds under my pre-pregnancy weight, BP was good, my incision was healing nicely, and my uterus had shrunk back down. I inquired about meds to help with any anxiety that may come up during Spencer's (possible) treatment and she totally understood. I haven't filled it but it's there. Drugs like that cross the milk barrier so you have to be somewhat careful. A little wont hurt Sully but I don't want to hurt him at all. I'm hoping to be strong enough to not need them but if my 15 month old has chemo...
The last appointment of the day was Spencer's check-up at the pediatrician. He was supposed to get his chicken pox vaccine but none of those until we're through this whole mess. Live viruses are a bad idea right now. Just another reminder of what we're going through.
I was going to talk about how much I think Sully is getting screwed during this ordeal but I can't think about it or I'll cry. Poor little dude. This is HIS time. He's my last baby and I feel like I'm missing out on him being little...or that I will miss out. He's already such a big boy, my little pork chop. Big boy, little pork chop...how contradictory! But you get what I'm saying. He's growing so fast! I just adore him.
The Food Show at the IX Center is my first big adult outing sans babies. Maybe I should be at home with the boys since we'll be in the hospital for who knows how long Monday. But I need this. I need to have a little fun with friends. I need to turn my brain off just for a little while, and I'm going to do it while stuffing my face...as much as one CAN stuff their face with sample sized food! It will be good medicine.
If I don't update y'all after the procedure, I will after Sully's baptism. Thanks again for the support I'm getting here, on Facebook, and through private message. We have a great team backing us up!
Spencer will beat this. He's too awesome not to.