Team Spencer: Day 7 - 9

WEDNESDAY 2/20

Since the 1st round of Chemo was finished, Spencer was unhooked from the IV and they would only give him fluid at night. This was amazing because his cords were tucked away and he could get around more easily. He had plenty of energy and ate a decent breakfast and lunch. Not as piggy as usual but still eating, until dinner which he had no interest in again. Grandma, Grandpa, and Aunt Phoebe came to visit and I got to take a shower, a gift to all. Spencer had a BLAST while they were here. He was so active and happy. It made my day to see him STILL just being him.

Night time took a little turn. I was working on my chem lab and Spencer had no interest in sleeping. After trying to soothe him, let him exhaust himself, anything I could think of, I just put him in the crib. He was agitated and angry and then, for the first time in his life, he threw up. I just stood there motionless at first and then rang his nurse. We got him cleaned him up, stripped his bed, and I held him until he drifted off. He really seemed fine once he emptied out but it took a toll on me.

THURSDAY 2/21

I really need to remember to blog day-by-day so I remember things cause Thursday is a little foggy. I know he seemed great in the morning. Bounced back majorly from his night time explosion. During rounds, they decided to give him some morphine again because the general consensus was that he was throwing up or spitting out food from pain, not nausea. An irritation of the mucosal lining of his mouth or throat, probably. Then they let me know that his hemoglobin was low so he was going to receive some blood. My little goofy vampire. It seemed to help because his energy was even MORE jacked up, if that's possible. But this extra energy didn't help with his desire to eat dinner. And it kept him up until midnight.

It was an exhausting day even though so little happened. It's not like at home when he can just gooooo. He's confined to one space so I'm always chasing after him to keep him safe. I'm just complaining because I'm tired. Ignore me.

FRIDAY 2/22

He seemed to do better with breakfast and lunch. I've discovered that you can't mix foods with him anymore. A change in taste is very common during chemo. It now has to be a few bites of pancakes then a few bites of fruit. No back and forth. As long as he's eating, I don't care. I'll stand on my head if I have to. His numbers are continuing to drop as they should and his platelets are very low...26. He had a few visitors and it was feeling like a low key day until BOOM!! He threw up. Like a frat boy. All over himself and me.

It was in his glasses. It was in my UNDERWEAR, which is still confusing. I was frozen while he cried. We stripped him down and a nurse took over so I could get cleaned up, which has yet to really happen. The room smells like a combo of vomit and bleach. I can still smell it on my skin. And his breath, oh Lord. But the little guy was happy as could be, just hanging out in his diaper. But I just wanted to disappear. Just for a minute, which makes me feel like the worst mother in the world. But he ate a great dinner, we watched cartoons, and we're going to try giving sleeping a shot. Hooray for Lexapro!

***

Tomorrow I'm going home for TWO WHOLE DAYS. Until Monday morning! I feel bad about leaving Spencer (Todd will be with him) but I've been here the entire time short of 20 hours a week ago. I need to recharge and get my head straight. I'm starting to cry sometimes (this is a NO CRY ZONE) and feel run down and broken (and even feeling that way is bullshit because I'M NOT THE ONE WITH CANCER). But there are fixes. The most important is seeing my baby!!! 2 whole days with Sully!!! I miss him so much, I feel sick. Sleeping in own bed and eating REAL FOOD are also quick fixes. And a margarita during the Oscars won't hurt a thing.

So that's the scoop. Numbers are dropping and still have to pick up before we can go home. Continued thanks for all the support.