Sending Love: Cancer Is The Dirtiest Word I Know

Friends of ours got bad news today and my heart is broken for them. But I, personally, will not give up hope that a miracle will happen. If anyone I know deserves something amazing to happen, it's them. I think about waiting for our own news this week (we received word today that the baby's official results were normal). I can't imagine if we had gotten bad news. I would've done ANYTHING to NOT get bad news. But now someone else, someone awesome, got bad news and would probably do anything to hear something different. If I could take their pain away, I would. I sent a message saying that the number of people who have rallied around them is a testament to the kind of people they are. Fantastic people who don't deserve this.

I guess no matter how fantastic you are, life just isn't fair.

Appointment #3: Adding Another Stupid Hiccup To The List

What a day, let me tell you. Actually, the chaos all began last night (ACTUALLY, it seems the chaos began as soon as I got pregnant!). After a really fun birthday dinner face-stuffing for my mom with the whole clan, we headed home and the snowball began snowballing.

One of my puncture sites, which was less than a day old, was giving me major troubles all day so I removed it and went without meds for awhile. Todd started a new site when we got home but the old site got hard, red, itchy, and so painful I wanted to cry. It isn't like self-made holes in your gut feel GOOD, but something was wrong and I knew it so I sent my sister a picture to see if maybe it was infected (she has experience with puncture sites). She suggested I call my doc. I suggested, to no one in particular, that my belly button looks like a cavern.

I decided to wait until morning to see if the ouch had righted itself. It hadn't and on top of that, the NEW site was imitating the old site. Stupid copycat. I was finally forced to go without meds again but I just started to fall apart. My glands were swollen, my muscles ached, I had the chills, I could barely focus. It hit me like a ton of bricks. It was overwhelming.

My Home Health Care nurse told me to make an appointment with my OB/GYN and my other sister, the nurse, agreed. The last thing I needed was a blood infection. So off Spencer and I went...and the spotting began for the 1st time in a few days. This did not help ease my mind because now I wondered if I had gotten an infection from the CVS. I would never forgive myself if something happened to Sam-I-Am because we had to know about his chromosomes.

I was weighed...up 2 pounds but still way under my beginning pre-pregnancy weight...gave a urine sample, and had my blood pressure taken (120/70). What was decided is that I have to give up the pump and get on antibiotics for 10 days. I've got dissolving oral Zofran in case my nausea comes back in full force because it's been lurking underneath somewhere...please, no. I can't start feeling yucky from scratch.

The shakes and aches and everything else are either from my body fighting the infection OR I'm coming down with something. Both of which are sucko. I have no time to be sick. Baby sick? No choice. Sick-sick? Come on now. Good news is the spotting is just from the CVS or the clot, nothing to worry about. Baby's heart rate was 167 and strong. Way to go, baby.

While with my OB, I inquired about 2 things:

1. Can she tie my tubes while she's in there snatching the baby out? Yes, she can and she will. We wanted 2 babies together and, in September, we'll have them. Our family is complete. Since I'm already having surgery, it's a safe time to just close up the shop. We came to this decision together and I feel good about it.

2. How long with I be in the hospital after the C-Section? I can leave on Day 4. The day of the surgery is actually Day 0 and 3 full days and nights will follow. Yes, it's 26 weeks away, but we have Aiden and Spencer to get squared away. Spencer will be especially challenging since he'll only be just over a year. But there's time to plan.

So now I'm on the couch, feeling like I've been trampled by dinosaurs, hippos, rhinos, or something else heavy and immobilizing. But hopefully I'll bounce back tomorrow after being on antibiotics for awhile. So that's the JUNK part of today.

The SOLID part of today is it's my mom's birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM! I hope it was a great day for you and we all love you!! Especially this particularly sleepy and grouchy fella.

Now I just need Todd to get here so I can fall into a nice, little coma.

Morning After: Finally Starting To Feel Preggo

I'm finally starting to feel pregnant now that I can say "he". Knowing that I'm cooking a little a boy has made me feel all warm-n-fuzzy. We have our name picked out (which makes it even more real) and we've told a few people, I just don't know if we're announcing it to the world just yet.

The problem is the middle name. I am OBSESSED with middle names and so far, we can't agree on one. And we need to meet a celebrity so we can get the 2nd middle name, like when we picked Fonzarelli after I met Henry Winkler. So keep your eyes and ears peeled and let me know of any celebrity sightings about town, will ya?

Another little boy. I love it.

And I love this, which I will title "A Conversation":

John Jackson: Just saw your post! Congrats, you have a house full of penis.
Me: For real!!!
JJ: Pssh your place is a sausage fest. It's gonna be porn, cheetos and beer ALL the time. I think you should start grooming them all to be singers like the Bee Gees.
Me: At least I'll be the prettiest girl!
JJ: True. You get to be all judgy of the girlfriends.
Me: I'm their only girlfriend. Ever.
JJ: Poor poor boys.
Me: I need to backtrack and tell you that I love the Bee Gees. Even the one that looks like Laverne DiFazio. And the one who wasn't actually a Bee Gee, just a Gibb.

After work, I bought the baby his (HIS!) first piggy bank. I am BIG on piggy banks. I try and get them for all of the babies. And I also bought 2 little newborn size outfits for the hospital since we'll be there a few days. I forgot how teeny tiny newborn clothes are. And they were too BIG for my 6 pounds 1 ounce Spence Baby!

And speaking of my pal, Spencer...he got a special outfit for baby's birthday, too!

Just need to find some "Big Brother" duds for Aiden, the biggest of the brothers. He asked Todd if the baby will look just like Spencer. I wonder that myself and wouldn't mind it a bit. I can't get over the cuteness quotient of Spencer sometimes. Give me a look-a-like. That's fine by me!

Aiden also exhibited some good big brother qualities by not minding some room changing at Castle Grayskull. In the summer, he'll be moving to the downstairs bedroom (currently the art room which is relocating the basement...I get one corner of the Man Cave) so the babies can be closer to mom and dad. New flooring, new bedding, new paint (he wants green...like BP gas station green). We'll make it fun for him. A fresh start before Middle School begins. But these will be big projects for everyone. I'm tired just thinking about them.

And I'm...I don't know what...looking at this:

Yep. That's my Zofran pump bill for 12 DAYS. It's before insurance but I really just wanted to note for posterity that this is what it costs (for only 12 DAYS) to not drop dead from malnutrition. And keep in mind, I'm still on the damn pump! I think the bill is going to sit in the pile for awhile!

Tomorrow is my mommy's birthday so tonight we're going out to celebrate. It's nice to finally be able to rejoin the living. I would make a terrible zombie. I'm going to stuff my face and have a private celebration of my own since my little peanut got a clean bill of health so far. Next OB/GYN appointment a week from today! A nice, drama-free appointment!

I'll take it!

Happy Days: The Best Way To Start My 2nd Trimester

I'm not even going to beat around the bush or try to be clever.

We have a HEALTHY (!!!) BABY BOY on the way!

I've been staring at my cell phone all morning but when it rang, I didn't pick it up! Like a goon, I tried to quickly Google the number because I didn't recognize it and MISSED ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT CALLS OF MY LIFE. Then the phone at my desk rang and it was the doctor's office with our CVS results.

The preliminary results (testing for Trisomy 13, 18, and 21) were NORMAL!

And the chromosomes say it's a boy. Spencer's baby brother.

I immediately started to cry and just felt overwhelming relief. I felt like everything was going to be OK all along, I had a feeling. Everyone else had the same feeling. But I needed to be told by a professional. I needed to know FOR SURE, and now I do. Our baby boy does not have any chromosomal defects.

I am destined to remain the Queen of Castle Grayskull. "It is your destiny to be surrounded by handsome men", says Tessa. I think it's fantastic. I secretly wanted a boy. Boys are what I know! And being 13.5 months apart (my little Irish twins), it'll be fantastic for Spencer. I can't wait to watch them grow up together. I feel complete.

I would have loved him no matter what his chromosomes look like. HELL, Spencer's chromosomes are a little fancy and he's the coolest person I KNOW! But I'm glad his brother won't have any hurdles right out of the gate. And I'm glad they'll have each other after Todd and I are gone.

MANY, MANY, MANY moons from now, that is. I might not even die. I might even look into Cryogenics. I HOPE YOU CAN HEAR THIS OVER IN ITALY, BIZZLE! The candle-lighting and money in the prayer box has paid off! We have a fondue date when you're on U.S. soil!

Happy 2nd Trimester. Happy Day, indeed.

It's Finally Over: Spending the Rest Of the Day Off My Feet

Today, Todd and I went to Fairview Hospital for the CVS exam. We made this appointment 6 weeks ago so needless to say, I've been counting down the days. And I managed to keep my nerves relatively under control. Hooray for me.

First, a tech performed an ultrasound to figure out where the placenta was (and I guess they were shocked that the placenta is where it is since I had a C-Section). It's amazing how much changed since our last ultrasound. Less Gummy Bear and more baby! The heartbeat was 163 and our little peanut was busy flip-flopping all over. We could clearly see the nose, the fingers, and both sides of the brain. Awesome. And he/she measured 2 days ahead in development!

The doctor came in and told us a little more about the procedure. He was fantastic. I am a huge fan of this guy! Most importantly, he answered two major questions for us:

1. The Nuchal Translucency (thickness of the clear space around the neck) measured NORMAL! That is an excellent sign and made us so happy to hear. If there was something to be suspicious of, the space would be thick...not even CLOSE!

2. The doctor told us that after delivering over 5,000 babies, he almost NEVER sees siblings with Spencer's syndrome. Yes, we have a 1% chance of repeat diagnosis, be he rarely sees it.

My legs went up in the stirrups and the dreaded speculum appeared. After that, the doctor used a catheter to remove villi from the placenta. The villi have the same genetic information as Sam I Am. I felt a little pressure and once, some surprising pain that left my vision blurry. But before I knew it, it was over and a good sample was taken. We also learned two more interesting things:

1. They will have preliminary results in 5 days!! The officially-official results take around 10 days. That's a LONG WAIT. On Monday, we should know if we're having a boy or girl, and if they're A-OK which I am starting to believe they are!

2. I have a small clot but they aren't concerned. I'll either bleed it out (he knew immediately that I'd have some post-procedure bleeding...but it's nothing horrific) or my body will absorb it. I trusted this doc so much that if he's not concerned, I'm not!

So I've been resting and off my feet which is where I'll stay until tomorrow morning. At that time, I can resume regular activities and I'll be one day closer to knowing the facts. Knowing what all of this was for. I feel a little off. My heart is pounding and I feel spaced. But maybe anxiety and adrenaline got the best of me!

Now I just need to talk Todd into the girl name I like!

Thanks to everyone for their support, especially those currently living it up like an adorable international jetsetter! If you can keep the good thoughts going until Monday, that would be awesome. But at this moment, I'm feeling pretty confident that everything will work out!

R-A-M-B-L-I-N: Distracting Myself From The Nerves

I think my nerves are starting to kick in. I can't stop shaking my foot (though that is fairly common with me), I keep holding my breath, I've been Googling my doctor and the procedure, even though I know everything there is to know.

And I'm not AFRAID of the procedure. I'm not nervous about that.

I'm just nervous. And angry that we have to go through this.

I asked Phoebe to think of me tomorrow at 10:30. Since she was just in Vatican City and has emassed a hearty collection of Italian rosaries (including some blessed by the Popa himself), her thoughts might be a titch closer to God.

I think I'm just talking to talk and to stop myself from thinking.

Topic change...

CONGRATS to the lovely Jenn Terror! Another awesome chick to find out she has a bun in the oven! That brings the tally of pregnant people I know to NINE! She's already a wonderful mother and I'm so excited for her! I know that she and her hubby we're hoping for this. HOORAY JENN!

20.75 hours to go.

Waiting Game: Post Script

The doctor's office called and recommended I watch a video about the procedure I'm having done on Thursday so they could answer any questions I may have. I'm pretty well-informed about the CVS because I can't keep my face off the internet, but I did learn a few tid-bits by watching (and got more comfortable seeing the face of the doctor who will be performing the test and hearing him talk):

1. The rate of miscarriage for CVS is higher than with Amnio. This I knew. About 1 in 100 - 200 pregnancies end in loss. But his personal rate is far less than the national average. That's comforting.

2. The Limb/Jaw deformities than people read about, including me, have pretty much been debunked. They first appeared in 1989 and the procedure had been done around 5-6 weeks of pregnancy. Too early! Since then much research has been done. The safe window is to have the CVS after 9 weeks. Also, these Limb/Jaw deformities can also spontaneously happen to 1 in 175,000 pregnant women without having a CVS. Again, comforting.

3. He has personally never seen one of these deformities in his patients.

4. The procedure only takes 20 - 30 seconds. It will actually take more time to set up then it will to complete the procedure. Whew!

5. Post-procedure, it is recommended that I stay off my feet and don't lift anything until the morning. So Todd is going to have to be my nurse and Spencer's dad and mom for the rest of the day. Some spotting and cramping is normal but should subside in 24 - 48 hours.

So I feel a little more at ease about our decision. HIGH FIVE!

Only 46 hours to go.

Waiting Game: Wishing For the Capability To Speed Time

Happy 1st Day of Spring, which is tied with Fall as my favorite season.

2 days. Today, tomorrow, and then we have the CVS. I really haven't thought about it too much in a "dwelling" sense. A little here and there but nothing to really freak me out. Even now, I'm MUCH calmer than I thought I'd be. But there's a weird feeling in my chest. I don't know if the nerves are coming or what. Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow and just be a psychotic wreck. I guess we'll have to see.

I'm sort of hoping the my sense of calm means that everything is going to be alright. Todd says it is. I asked him if he really thought that or was trying to convince himself...he said he knows it will be fine and I'll see. And Tessa also believes that everything is fine. She attributed it to the theory of "bad wedding, good marriage". The pregnancy has been rotten so far so the baby will be A-OK. I'm going with Todd and Tessa because they're saying what I want to hear. I don't know if that's healthy but, honestly, I don't feel either way about what might happen.

I have been getting a gut feeling that it's a girl. My gut was right about Spencer.

Another one of the 100 pregnant chicks I know (like I said, if you don't want to breed then don't drink the water in Cleveland...not that I drink water, but you get the point) listed off her potential baby names recently. I think we have our names, potentially at least, but I'm not sure. It's not like with Spencer. I knew for certain I wanted that to be his name and Todd finally came around to it. I have zero regrets about what we named him. I'm not so solid this time around.

Everything is so different about this pregnancy. I feel so disconnected, probably from fear. But at least if we get any bad news (I hope saying that doesn't hex me) we can prepare. But what I'm really hoping is that we'll have the test, they won't be initially suspicious, the results won't show anything funny, and I'll suddenly feel physically fantastic and instantly pregnant and pumped, like I was with Spencer.

I guess we'll see. In 2 days. 2 LONG days.

12 Weeks & Irish Eyes: Spencer's 1st St. Patrick's Day

Saturday was Spencer's 1st St. Patrick's Day and one of the best I've had in many years. Probably because I got to spend it with my favorite person and I didn't throw up (from beer or from Hyperemesis). Go me!

I woke up doing some affirmations because I knew it was going to be a beautiful day. I refused to stare at the four walls of my living room while people were outside...living. So I told myself over and over, "I WILL go to Jimbo's house. I WILL go to Jimbo's house", and I did. Spencer the Hooligan got dressed up in his green duds (he's Irish on both mommy and  daddy's sides) and we headed over to his 1st Kegs-n-Eggs.

It was great to be among the living and they're all such good people. I wish I had taken pictures! I think I was just too busy socializing with my peers to be stuck to my phone. Either way, I stayed about 45 minutes which was awesome for me, and then I headed over to my parents' house for a lazy day. The change of scenery was fantastic, even if I just laid on the couch most of the day. Spencer was occupied with a whole team of people to play with. I'm sure he's sick of my mug in his face all the time. And Grandma let him be naked-n-free!

So all in all, it was a success. I didn't just sit at home and let my brain turn to mush from boredom. I didn't let St. Patrick's Day pass us by. And when I got home and Todd got home from work, we had a mini-cookout. But it was amazing to me how doing pretty much nothing all day (or nothing that took any real energy or effort) could wipe me out. I need to take this all very slowly. I can't take any more set backs! I need the 2nd trimester surge...and hopefully, in 2 weeks, I'll get it!

That reminds me...I'm 12 weeks today! Not too much to say about 12 weeks really.

Genetic/Chromosomal/Invasive testing in 3 days. Hopefully I can make it that long without my head falling off. Something that also helped secure my ever-wobbling head was an e-mail I got from the speech therapist. I e-mailed her to make sure I really knew what was what...to make sure Spencer really isn't lagging behind. She said he has the skills he needs for a child his age so...whew! So far, so good in that department! One thing I don't have to worry about...yet.

Appointment #2: Short and Sweet

I am sick as a dog (I don't really get that expression...is it stating that all dogs are sick or that their behavior, like eating poo, is sick?) so I'm going to make this quick...and then probably go throw up again.

Yesterday was my 2nd OB/GYN appointment and if you know anything about them, they're pretty basic and boring in the beginning. This appointment was especially rough because I left work after 2 hours due to non-stop cookie-tossing, which has continued today. Hence the desire to type like a machine gun and get my head back by the garbage can.

It was difficult to get Spencer all packed up and to drive from Brunswick to Crocker Park feeling as crummy and drained as I was. But the weather was fantastic so we rolled down the window and cruised. It helped ease the yucko feeling knowing that I was going to get to hear baby Sam-I-Am's heartbeat again. Nothing eases the brain quite like that "wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah".

I'm down 9 pounds from my last appointment, which isn't awesome but I'm doing what I can. I told my doc that the Zofran WAS working but has decided to quit on me. She told me to contact my HHC nurse and see what else they can do for me. Maybe up my dose, change my med, and there was some talk about a patch you can wear behind your ear. So I'll take care of that today because I can't keep existing like this. I want to enjoy my pregnancy since it's 95% likely that this will be the last one.

The doc asked me again if I had considered VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean) but I told her I was set on the C-Section. I got a little sweaty and asked if that was a problem (I've read that a lot of doctors insist you try but then only 3% are successful) and she said absolutely not. She said "they" like to encourage the VBAC but she can understand why I wouldn't want that. Spencer's delivery was chaotic and then everything went downhill from there. I want to be prepared this time around. I want Sam-I-Am delivered on a scheduled date and to be thoroughly checked out immediately. Maybe I sound like Psycho Mom...but I deserve to be a little. So "DECLINED VBAC" is now big and bold in my file. 

The heartbeat was a nice, strong 167 beats. It was lovely. 

And Spencer was a doll, per usual. Just a perfect, little gentleman.

So back I'll go at the beginning of next month to pee in a cup and hear that sweet, little heartbeat. But between now and then, we've got the CVS which is happening a week from today. I haven't been able to get TOO nervous about that (don't let that make you think I'm not in a panic) because I've been so sick. I hope that the next week flies by. And more importantly, I hope the time period we have to wait to get the results flies by. I feel sick just thinking about that phone ringing.

But next week, on the spot, they can do a Nuchal Translucency screening, which basically means they'll measure the thickness of the neck. By doing that (which HAS to be done between 11 - 13.6 weeks) they can tell us if they're suspicious of certain things right off the bat. Hopefully, the neck will measure normally and I won't drop dead from being unable to breathe while we wait for the call.

OK, NOW I'm nervous. And I did it to myself! I need to follow Spencer's lead and nap.

Pray for us.

Oh Nuts: The Brief Intermission Is Over

So much for being on the mend. Sigh.

I went about 5 hours without Zofran yesterday before I started to feel a little off. I went about 6 hours before I started to feel down-right seasick. Todd hooked me back up when I got home and I gave myself a bolus (immediate dose) but I guess it was too late. I attempted to eat a piece of chicken for dinner (I had been warned that meat could be difficult to digest) and ended up tossing my cookies for most of the evening.

Today I feel like dirt despite the power or positive thinking.

Regardless of my personally junky day, it seems that things went pretty well with Mr. Spencer's adventures. The speech therapist said he's got great muscle tone in his face which is awesome, especially where speech is concerned. She played some little games with him and talked to Todd about sign language.

Babies that learn sign language...ALL babies, not just those with Spencer's issues...talk earlier. For whatever reason, when they can talk, they just drop the sign language. You would think it would delay them from speaking but it's the other way around. So we'll start using some day-to-day signs with Spencer (eat, all done, more, play, sleep, etc). We won't see any results right away but it will all come together.

The speech therapist said whenever Spencer is in for PT, he can pop in so she can make sure he's still on track. And the physical therapist said he's doing great. Looks like we're moving on from neck control to working on his core (and I'm sure all of our cores could use a little work) so he can sit up on his own. So we'll keep up the exercises and see what's what next month. I still count my lucky stars that he only has to go once a month. I hope it stays that way. He's doing great.

I don't think I mentioned this yesterday but on Sunday, I had just gotten out of the shower and Todd had scooped Spencer out of his crib and brought him to say good morning. When he got closer to me, Spencer leaned in my direction and reached for me. I had to verify with Todd that it really happened but it did. It was A-MAZ-ING. I hope feeling crummy right now is just a fluke because this week has a lot of awesome weather in store and I would love to do something other than nap with my dude.

Tomorrow is my OB/GYN appointment and I'm so excited to hear the heartbeat again. With feeling so crummy and being wrapped up in Spencer, I still don't FEEL like I'm pregnant, mentally. But I did last week for that quick second when we heard the heartbeat. I felt pregnant and relieved...so I'm excited. I'm also excited (and simultaneously terrified) about our genetic testing next week. Not just because I want it DONE, I want to know what's WHAT...but I just found out that it will also tell us the gender! That's MUCH earlier than with Spencer.

So...wish me some luck if you've got some!

Good Feeling: Shaking Off The Cobwebs

Yesterday was monumental for me! I don't use that word lightly. Too flashy.

 For the first time since February 3rd, I left the house for something other than an Emergency Room visit or a few hours at work. I woke up yesterday thinking, "It's going to be really nice outside today and I can't spend one more minute laying on the couch...I can not keep Spencer cooped up in here. It's not fair". So I hopped in the shower and scrapped off several days worth of nastiness and grime from my person, got Spencer squared away for an adventure, and we went out into the warm world.

I'm not going to lie. It wasn't easy. We were just running small errands but I kept getting hot and headachey. And every so often, I felt like I had the legs of a newborn deer. I was a touch wobbly. But Spencer scored an outfit for St. Patrick's Day and Easter, we all got some fresh air and to visit with family, and I got to spend a nice Spring-y afternoon with my dudes. All in all, it was worth having to put myself to bed at 6:45pm.

I'm hoping the warm-n-sunny feeling carries over into today, or even into the rest of the week. Spencer has a speech evaluation followed by PT today. He's never had back-to-back appointments before so I'm worried it might be a touch much for him and his daddy said he's fussy this morning. But he's tough. And I know the speech...

OH MY GOD. My Zofran pump wire just got caught on something (possibly my own knee) and instead of the cap just popping off, the entire plastic catheter was ripped out of my stomach! WAHHHH!!! Ow! Ow! Ow! Medication and blood were spurting out of me like a fountain. And I'm wearing a white t-shirt today. Super awesome. But back to Spencer.

...therapist is going to give him a gold star for now. He's a chatty fellow and has been rocking the speech pre-cursors since birth, practically. And it's not that I'm trying to convince myself he'll do well, I just hate him having all the appointments he already has. He doesn't need anymore. As Aunt Carol High Hair said, "Kid's gotta full dance card".

2nd OB/GYN appointment this week. Genetic testing next week. Stress today.

Happy Birthday Baby: Today You Are 7 Months Old

I can't believe it. In fact, I flat-out choose not to believe it. Call me stubborn. You were JUST BORN. Do I say the same things every month on the 8th? Well GOOD because that's how I feel every month on the 8th! You can't POSSIBLY be a month older because we were JUST at the hospital awaiting your arrival! But then again, it feels like you've always been around. Like you've always been a part of my life because I just can't imagine it without you. Impossible. You've always been around (but there's no WAY you're 7 months OLD).

Here are some facts about 7 month old Spencer:

-He is a music-loving fool, just like his mom. We spend about an hour every day (not to mention our time in the car) listening to different types of music. He let's me know when he's not real jazzed about a song (like Wanda Jackson, thank GOD). And he really likes songs with interesting instruments like horns, keyboards, accordions, what have you.

-Problem solved: Todd started putting him on his tummy in the crib (which was OK'd by his doctor because he can roll there himself anyway) and he's back to snoozing through the night. He have zero interest in being on his back anymore during sleep or play.

-There have been a few nice days and it seems that he really like to be outside. I think it's the breeze that interests him. Dr. Nightmare really interests him, too! He follows her around and once or twice has tried to reach out for her. For being such an anti-social cat, she seems protective of him.

-He's still all about looking at things upside down. He even got his head stuck looking at his mobile upside down. Goofball. And he is still NOT about his bath. Screams his head off every time. But his Craddle Cap is almost gone! So glad because it was pretty bad looking.

-He will go to Speech Therapy on Monday for a check-up. You would think a baby this small wouldn't need speech therapy but there are pre-cursors to speech that can clue any delays (eye contact, following a person, mimicing facial expressions, etc). Luckily, at his November appt, he was way ahead in that area (and he was only 3 months)! And I've been told by MANY people that he babbles more than any baby they know so I have no doubt he'll get a gold star and be sent on his way! He also has Physical Therapy on Monday to help us strengthen his core so he can sit up on his own. He wants too...so I know he will in no time!

-He MAY or may NOT have tried the tiniest bit of frosting and I'm pretty sure it blew his mind. He's very interested in what I'm eating, especially if I'm using a fork or spoon. Today we'll be moving up to the Stage 2 fruits and veggies and giving the hand-held cookies a shot, per his Pediatrician. Still a little wobbly as far as the high chair goes but we'll get there.

Happy 7 months, buddy boy. Can't wait to see what the next month has in store!

Chaos At 10 Weeks: Cramping, Spotting, and Seeing Your Face

Yesterday was...interesting.

I hit the 10 week mark with a major bang. I had been cramping all night but I ignored it. With pain from my puncture sites and a general weirdness about my body from the Hyperemesis, I just figured it was part of all the nonsense. But in the morning, I was spotting a little. I've never spotted so I went into freak out mode. I had already called off work because I was so sea-sick so I called my doctor who ordered an ultrasound.

Todd, Spencer and I headed to the hospital as I chugged my water (if you don't know, you need a full bladder for an ultrasound). I hate water. And Todd decided to take some curvy-swervy scenic way to the hospital...I'm sure he thinks it's faster and I'm also sure he's wrong. By the time we walked into the office, I had to make a mad dash to the bathroom and made it mere milliseconds before I errupted water like a volcano. Miserable.

After that, we got our ultrasound. With Spencer, we only had an anatomy ultrasound and it was at 18 weeks. Even cooler was that our new docs also do 3D ultrasounds at their appointments! We will effectively know what Sam I Am looks like before he/she is here! It was exciting, even if he/she pretty much looks like a Gummi Bear right now. Also exciting was the fact that the baby is doing GREAT despite all the havoc it's been exposed to. It measured 10 weeks on the DOT! And there is absolutely nothing funky going in my downstairs business.

There is also only 1 baby in my downstairs business. WHEW!

So the doctor said everything looks great. He thinks the spotting is just a normal symptom and that it won't amount to anything. SWEET RELIEF! We'll also we getting another ultrasound during out genetic testing in 2 weeks so we'll be reassured that everything is A-OK. It just feels so good to know that Sam I Am is the perfect size and comfortable hanging out in his/her squishy waterbed, looking all cozy. It was great to see him/her. I had a smile ear-to-ear.

And we got to hear a nice, strong heartbeat for the 1st time. 170 awesome beats.

The awesomeness ended once we got back in the car. It was another one of those moments where I wished I could teleport. As we pulled into our driveway, I wondered if I would actually be able to make it to the bathroom before chaos ensued. I didn't even bother to shut the door. I just tossed my cookies and cried. Non-awesome. I burrowed under my blankets and Todd took Spencer with him on a little car ride so I could rest.

I managed to get in about an hour of iPod time with Spencer last night though. That's our new thing. A 25 song playlist every night of different kinds of music. He LOVES IT. And I love it. So every though I was feeling very zombie-like, I was happy as well. But I need a break. Not from Spencer at ALL, but from feeling so rotten 24 hours a day. But I am well-aware that the most important thing is that Sam I Am is doing great so far.

It was so very nice to meet you : )

"A grand adventure is about to begin" - Winnie the Pooh





Random Rambling: Trying To Alleviate My Poor Brain

"The Long and Winding Road" is off the table until this pregnancy is over. And "Starman" by David Bowie. And anything sad having to do with animals. And any homemade videos on You Tube about cancer, like the melanoma one or that one the Australian guy made before he passed. Nope. No way.

I'm laying in bed, feeling a little fishy, craving a Chocolate Banana Marshmallow milkshake from B-Spot, minus the dark rum. It's the first real craving I've had. But ice cream is sort of off the table because it's difficult to digest. Who deprives a pregnant person of ice cream?? Jerks.

Don't drink the water in Cleveland. In fact, to be safe, don't drink the water in Ohio. Everyone is pregnant. It's practically an epidemic.

Since last Monday, I've thrown up twice which is a major improvement from throwing up every hour of every day. Still on the pump but I'm dependent right now. I'm down a little over 10 pounds and very worried about if Sam I Am is getting what it needs from me. I've been reassured that all is well...my body will protect him/her first. But I'm still in a panic, of course.

Nothing about this round of human harvesting has been normal. Luckily, I see the doc for the second appointment in 10 days. Hopefully she can ease my ever-throbbing brain a bit. My family and friends have been so helpful and I can't thank them enough for being supportive. I feel a little guilty because we chose to have a baby. I'm feeling junky because of something we wanted and everyone else is babysitting me. I wish I could just bounce back already.

I'm rambling. I'm nervous. I'm exhausted. I'm 10 weeks.